My Personal Journey

By Helena Guan

The way I grew up, feelings were denied and discouraged. While I was making my career choice, my father, a very knowledgeable man advised me to go in a field that was practical and safe, instead of going to humanity field. For these reasons and because it was popular, I chose civil engineering. During engineering study, my feelings and creativities could not be expressed in concrete calculating at all. The more effort I put in, the more worthless I felt. It was like using a strainer to ladle water. I resigned myself to mediocrity.

Later on in my life, I was running around for numerous jobs, some of them I really enjoyed, and some of them were just daily bread earning activities. I was very unsettled with the fact that I did not have a career. I was very unsatisfied that I could not perform to my own expectations. Why do I feel so unsettled? Who am I? What is my true value? Which kind of job can bring me the greatest satisfaction? Looking for the answers, I went far back to my childhood to find my original dream regardless of any restraints. During my childhood, every summer, I liked going to the countryside where my grandma lived. I was ecstatic about chasing dragonflies and I enjoyed watching fish swimming in the river for hours. Among these things I liked, my favourite one was telling stories to the children there about the books I had read, and educating them to take care of personal hygiene. By reading between these lines, I saw a picture full of sunshine, energy, freedom, and inspiration. I have discovered my core value which is inspiring people, helping them to develop, and become happier in their lives. This is a natural source for my motivation.

Career counselling is a field where I can engage all of my talents and energy, to apply my value, and to achieve my personal growth. My work outcome will be a statement of my mastery. When people whom I have helped think about their life turning point, they would say: “She has helped me live a meaningful life”. Which kind of reward can be bigger than that? Just by imagining it, I am profoundly satisfied already.

Now that I have realized this, I am cherishing every drop of water. I unconsciously apply what I believe – talent deserves a showcase. After so many years of wondering what I will do to bring the best out me, I am positive I have found my calling. I am focusing all of my attention to pursue it.

Helena Guan immigrated from China. Now she is studying Career and Work Counsellor Program in a Community College. She can be contacted through email at yw_guan@yahoo.ca