By Cathy Keates

No More Networking “Hypocrites” – Introducing a New Model of Networking

Does this sound familiar? “I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell my clients to network – I hate networking!”

I have noticed an interesting pattern among career practitioners. When it comes to the subject of networking, many of us are feeling conflicted. While we are huge proponents of the practice of networking as the key strategy for job search and career success, many of us, when feeling safe and among friends, guiltily admit this little secret.

I count myself among the many who do not like to make cold calls, are uncomfortable “selling” themselves, and would rather be a wallflower than a social butterfly at events. These recommended networking activities are things that I just do not do regularly. And yet I have a great network and have received job offers through that network. So what is going on – how can I be not networking and yet have such a strong network?

It is time for a new way of thinking about networking – one that resolves this contradiction and will relieve some of our “hypocritical” feelings.

I have created a new model of networking that resolves these problems. Instead of networking being one approach to selling yourself and making contacts, networking actually has 2 distinct modes. My new model of networking is

“Doing” networking is our traditional mode of networking. It is in this mode that we strategically search for immediate or near future opportunities using a variety of techniques, such as cold calls, meeting people at events, and “selling” ourselves. It is this mode of networking in which many of us feel less than confident. Most of our workshops and resources for clients address Doing networking and it is from this that the hypocritical feelings stem.

There is however, another mode of networking that has been under-addressed, and yet it leads to more opportunities and tends to be more manageable for more people. This is the mode of Living networking. Living networking is an engaged and curious approach to life, in which we share ideas and develop long-term relationships with others. When Living networking we are not looking for short term gain but are interacting with others for the sake of connection and curiosity. It is not about selling or marketing ourselves, it is rather about creating real relationships and recognizing opportunities for connection.

Some of the activities of Living networking include:

1. Curiosity Conversations. Instead of conversations that start with a 30 second commercial and follow with discussion intended to market yourself to a potential employer, curiosity conversations are motivated by only one thing – curiosity. Living networking means speaking to people just to find out more about them because you value them as interesting human beings and to discover common interests and make real connections.
2. Sharing information. You know that person who is always sending you articles and websites that you might be interested in? They are Living networking. You probably appreciate receiving that information and consider them part of your network. Information exchange is a hallmark of Living networking.
3. Sharing your passion. Isn’t it energizing to listen to someone who is talking about their passion? They get so excited and you start to feel like you are getting a glimpse into their true self. When you are speaking with others and are open about your passion, people meet the real you. Deep relationships start here.
4. Engaging in a professional community. This activity is not so much about attending events and collecting business cards. This is rather about being a part of the community, getting to know others, and contributing time and expertise for an association. When working together towards a shared purpose we connect on a more intimate level.
5. Connecting others to opportunities. When we are Living networking we also look for and create opportunities for others.

One key strength of this new model is that it can incorporate the notion of “planned happenstance.” It is really through Living networking that planned happenstance occurs. Doing networking leads us to targeted opportunities, while Living networking exposes us to diverse happenstances.

For myself, I’ve realized that the reason I have such a strong network even though I rarely Do networking is that I am quite good at Living networking. This has allowed me to no longer feel at all hypocritical when encouraging clients to network.. I can now clarify the type of networking that I am encouraging and can usually find some style of networking that every client is already good at as a place to start.

For those networking “hypocrites” this model helps to lesson those guilty feelings. And for all of us, by recognizing Living networking as equally, if not more, important as Doing networking, this new model opens up new and more effective ways for you and your clients to appreciate and create deep and meaningful connections with like minded people and, as a wonderful by-product, increase your long term career opportunities.

Cathy Keates, MA, Career Consultant, and Career Programs Coordinator, York University. An introverted, yet still well-networked, professional, Cathy has been exploring new ways to approach supporting clients’ networking. She can be reached at ckeates@yorku.ca